Andy Burnham’s a nice lad ‘n all that but he needs to get back to us about the Rock Squad

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We wrote to the front burner last year asking if he’d drop a line to the Geological Society on behalf of the people of the old Lancashire coal mining areas currently facing a good fracking. Unsurprisingly folk in Wigan (his constituency), Salford, Warrington (I could go on) are concerned that some complete lunatics want to regularly conduct huge rock shattering depleted Uranium tipped explosions right underneath ancient coal mine workings that riddle the whole region. Andy Burnham, to his credit, got back to us and confirmed that he had done as we had requested and written to the venerable Society of Jurassic junkies…since then…nada…even with a Secretary chase up…it all went as quiet as a Bickerstaffe pit shaft……

Of course it’s possible that the Rock Squad are in the middle of some form of Flintstones Fest going back to back through movie and TV series episodes or perhaps there’s something geological afoot. Perhaps the 3,800,000 UKippers have popped over to our East coast, powered up outboard motors, the British Isles is currently being propelled away from Europe and the Geologists are keeping their heads down about such crazy quasi tectonic oddness? Who knows but its mighty disturbing that we still don’t know in the North West if there are soon to be a prophesised 4000 holes in Blackburn, Lancashire.

Andy will most likely win the Labour leadership, he’s a hottie, but he needs to get his priorities right and remember the folk whose interests he should hold dearest to his heart otherwise how can he ever be trusted to have the entire nations interests at heart if he couldn’t even manage that for his own back yard, his own people.

We don’t even fish with dynamite around our parts due to the possibility of a mine subsidence, we take our kids to Pennington and Wigan flashes for weekends out permanently reminding us that HUGE mine subsidences CAN happen in our area, find out please Mr Burnham whether there is any possibility that as a direct or indirect result of fracking any form of mine workings subsidence will occur.

Part of the Geological Societies mission statement is to expedite an auspicious customer liasonship in order to become a market leader in bollocks..oh, no it’s not, I zoned out into the average corporate mission statement there, no, the Rock Squad’s raison d’etre is “facilitating the communication of new facts and ascertaining what is known in their science” so please Mr B, tell these people to come out from whatever rock they’re hiding under and to ascertain whether using some of the most powerful explosions known to man under our homes could lead to getting a new cellar.

Ta lad

Author: Smokin’ Joe Brotherton

Follow on Twitter @MancunianSpring

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