Our new Greater Manchester Mayor could be here any day now, nobody is quite sure. It could be a man or a woman but nobody knows.
There’s much speculation regarding the new Mayors mode of arrival into his or her new Mayoral fiefdom. Some have suggested the possibility of the use of some form of Popemobile type vehicle to transport their Mayoralness around the 10 boroughs occasionally stopping to kiss babies. With the appointment of the leader of this new City State consideration has been given to the possibility of the Mayor being transported down the Manchester Ship Canal in a Greek galley rowed by Persian slaves. Sports fans have been questioning whether the Mayor will be unveiled in a new Manchester United diamond formation whilst soap fans have speculated on a Coronation Street appearance probably as part of a tram crash spectacular when it turns out that the Mayor was driving the tram with a head full of mushrooms.
The most politically canny suggestion of the mode of our new Gauleiters arrival came from an ex Salford Docker who, with typically irreverent docks humour, proffered that the new Mayor may well be parachuted into Manchester ala Rudolf Hess, the high ranking Nazi Party member who was parachuted in to Scotland in WWII only to get banged up in the Tower of London. Comparisons with Nazis could be considered harsh, but not necessarily when top political blog “House of Cards” refer to the Greater Manchester Mayor imposition as an “affront to democracy” indeed the whole region could right now be on the verge of being saddled with a gold fringed epaulette sporting military uniformed type with a name like Noriega or Galtieri with right wing death squads roaming the streets of Swinton within weeks.
Mancunian Spring will continue to report on this rolling civic car crash for interested parties such as the poor limbo suspended commemorative Mayor mug manufacturers.
Author: Smokin’ Joe Brotherton
Follow on Twitter @MancunianSpring
***THIS JUST IN***
Rumours abound since John Prescott’s resurfacing on the national political scene that he could be being lined up for Manc Mayor…and…the political state of Ukraine means that there’s currently a European “hard man” going spare in Viktor Yanukovych